Filling their time...do we HAVE to?

I have heard quite a lot recently about how parents feel so bad when their kids have an afternoon of doing nothing. Its all Go Go Go for kids these days, especially at school.
I know not all schools are the same, but take homework for example. My four year old Roxy is supposed to do twenty minutes reading as well as practise her 'Basket of words' and also a worksheet a week. Two of my children were born right at the end of August ( same day with seven years in-between), making them only a day away from being in the year below, and the amount of work they have to get through is astonishing!
So when I hear people saying "Oh I felt so guilty, Jimmy-Joe spent an hour yesterday on his computer/playstation/watching a dvd!"
 Shock gasp horror!
Far from being lazy at school I know our kids are worked pretty hard, so why not let them have afternoons where they do nothing? Do you know how much tougher it is at school now? Its a dog eat dog world out there, and our kids sometimes need to learn that you can just relax for a while!
I think we have now got ourselves the inpatient generation that just don't know how to chill out!
Years ago I had my old Spectrum computer, I was only seven or eight I think when my dad gave it to me & I loved her! I had only two games at first, and to start the game, you would have to type in the code, rewind the tape, press play and enter and wait for about 20 odd minutes ( if you were lucky!) for it to load up, and that was if it didn't crash and you'd have to start all over again! If mine have a game that crashes, it takes them seconds to re-start, but they fidget and moan and whine, they have no patience!
( Well, my ten year old has patience with his Art-work see below, its the only time he'll sit still for longer than 20 minutes!)

This 'Barbarian' is actually WOLF from Gladiators! Although me and my bro
thought he looked rather like  our Milkman!

Some of my ten year olds Art work! 

Mouldy Voldy! I love this one!

Voldemort! 

My older two boys Matt n Jordan know that for every hour on the computer they have an hour or so playing outside. I like them having a chill-out but at the same time they do need sunshine and to stretch their legs! But when I see them curled up with a book or watching a film at the weekend, years ago I would have chivvied them outside again, or told them off for being so lazy! But seeing how much homework they have and how tired they get, I have learned they don't always have to be running about and playing, they do that when they feel like it, if I force them I don't think its fair. So now the majority f the weekend is spent with them wrestling on the trampoline, their little sisters desperate to join in and kick some butt, and when they feel like just lounging around their room listening to youtube and watching dvds, I don't feel guilty. I just hope they squeeze the most out of it they can, this lounging about. I sometimes wish for nothing more than a lay-in where I can stay in bed until midday and read a book and consume toast with marmalade and milky coffees. Since we gave up a our bedroom for the kids we haven't had one lay in. Our bedroom is the front room, and we can't tell the kids to stay out, so up we get, usually about 6, wishing the kids would have just one lay-in themselves, but alas, too impatient for the day to begin!

My beautiful four year old always wants someone to play with her,despite our old adage of
"We had to play alone when we were younger, go and find something to do!"
And if this doesn't work, Daddy either gets roped in to watching Snow-White for the millionth time, or Jordan gets bribed into taking her on the trampoline and they play Fairies. Something tells me Jordan will never quite forgive me for this one......

But we feel so guilty, I don't think I'm the only one. When we hear parents up at the school saying about how little Tarquin has so many after-school clubs now, there aren't enough afternoons left, so now they've had to combine some of his classes and he can now do ballet on horse-back whilst playing Yankee-Doodle-Dandy on the guitar! In all seriousness I hear how guilty parents feel that So-and- so is playing the Oboe, doing three swimming classes a week, singing lessons, then off to the childminders, then doing the school play...add onto this homework and revision which now starts earlier and earlier and you wonder when on Earth these kids just laze around with a bottle of pop and watch Grange Hill or playing on their Z.X Spectrum....Ok I may be a bit out there time-wise lol but you know what I mean! (God I miss my Spectrum!)

But should I feel bad that my kids don't completely fill their time with extra-curricular activities? Or should I be pleased that my kids are doing just that, being kids! We don't have a car, so maybe that has stopped us in the past being able to get them to everything they wished they could join. But like I say, extra avtivities are great for kids, just not every single day!

I am certainly not saying that after school clubs are a bad thing, I am merely saying that perhaps we are so intent on filling every second of our kids lives with different things, learning an instrument, homework, revision....always trying to better our child to give them that extra step up, but when then do they get to be kids?

I was a lazy kid, I wanted to be home, head in a book, or out with my friends, making bases! I had loads of things I wanted to do, but I think my mum and dad felt guilty that I wasn't part of an outside group, filling my time! But hell, no-one knows better than I that what your parents tell you when you're younger is crud!
"Oh don't worry darling, when you're older you'll have the time to read all the books you want!' My mum would say. Errr, right, I'll squeeze my Helen Dunmore in-between changing nappies and doing a shop, making the dinner that only four out of six will eat and cleaning the darned toilet! ( My 'Be a Sweetie Wipe the Seatie!' is SO not working!!!!' But bored? I was never ever bored!

Jaqueline Wilson filled my time perfectly thank-you! ( Side note!) :Lets Pretend by Jaqueline Wilson Oh my goodness if you haven't read some of her earlier work then you really must. I read this book as a ten year old and still love it as a 31 year old, its very dark, not a kids book at all ( think my mum bought it as there is ayoung girl on the cover!) But this book if you can find it is not to be missed! Sorry, had to add this as its my favourite book of all time, such a twist!

Anyway! Enough of my ramblings now! I am off to go and play with my almost two year old ( Yes, the Fit-ty one who keeps going to Kamikaze off of the sofa backwards, no fear that girl, no fear at all! She is learning to keep herself occupied with her toys and pens and paper, but of course we have to teach them to play, plus it gives me a great excuse for leaving the washing up a bit longer!

So I leave you with this message. Unless your child is consuming his body-weight in Doritos, feet on your favourite sofa, and you feel like telling him to get out, go playing, go do something, go revise.....Give them a break, just for a minute....With all our worrying about how inactive kids are, at school they pretty much don't stop. Let them have their lazy moments without feeling bad, its not too long before they will be us! Their own families, their own problems and worries, bills and rent to pay, Jobs to do and kids to shout at, while their Harry Potter books we bought them gather dust on a shelf ....Let them be kids, just for a little while, in fact, why not join them!! :-)

Another side note, a great book that has gotten two out of my four kids into reading! http://www.feltham.hounslow.sch.uk/FCC%20Library%20-%20good%20reads%20-%20Room%2013.htm
Room 13 is a must-buy!...I had this book read to me by a wonderful teacher when I was about 9. I never forgot the Story of Fliss and her friends on a school trip to Whitby, and the Mystery of the disappearing room. And why does one of Fliss's friends have small blood red puncture wounds on her neck? An unforgettably creepy story written brilliantly by the fabulous Robert Swindells, This book was the winner of the Childrens book award, and still scares me as a toughened 31 year old!